My “moving on blog” comes from a my recent amazing Friendsgiving dinner. A few of us were drunk, high, and had a few things to overshare. One friend in particular went into full dragging mode regarding her ex.
Of course, Thanksgiving is nothing without some shade thrown around. In fact, I threw shade at my loser ex at the dining table. However, this friend went on a full roast about her ex with details, timelines, and stories. And I kindly wanted to note that she still follows him on social media.
After I returned back home with a different friend, we reflected on the dinner conversations. And although, I hate how my friend still follows her loser ex, I appreciated the openness and most importantly could understand why she went in depth. She’s very much hurt by what he did to her and believe me, he did some horrid things such as calling her a cunt.
I randomly thought about my mother and my father when I was home. My dad not only left my mom to being a single mother, but tried to sue us for 15k after. This is a common theme in my family where men leave their families. And for the first time in forever, I cried about how bad my dad did my mom. And although I’m glad my friend is nowhere near this bubble, I understood her hurt and why it still lingers. Sometimes people hurt us, particularly this is targeted to men, and we never get an apology or anything. And what feels worse, is that they are still able to sleep at night, not taking any accountability, knowing that what they did was foul.
Why It Hurts
Letting go is never easy. It’s a whole process actually. You don’t just forget about someone in a few days. And even when you start to accept the truth or start to move on, triggers will cause you to think of random memories that put you in certain moods. You are still dealing with a level of hurt and trauma.
I always talk about blocking on this site. BLOCKING IS STILL MY BEST FRIEND! I truly don’t understand why people don’t utilize it more. But, the biggest downfall of it that I’m sure everyone can agree with is that it is extreme. You are silencing someone permanently from having any access to you.
Because of this, taking that plunge is hard and as the blocker in most cases, it feels bittersweet to actually block someone. I really try to think on it and I don’t have any regrets with whom I blocked before. I don’t do it impulsively, though I know many people may do it, but get into the unblocking/blocking cycle.
However, if you’re like me, you never wanted it or even imagined it to get to this point of removing someone so “harshly”. And although in my case the people deserved it, closing the door and leaving behind memories or the thought of what could have been is very painful ESPECIALLY when there’s a level of care/potential there. It’s also the realization that you may not get the utopian closure or conversation you want that may restore your faith in humanity: “wow people come to their senses”!
Why It Feels Good
Because it just does. In every terrible situation where I had to let go of people, there’s usually some type of new chapter or blessing that triumphs everything. In a way, I feel like the universe is helping me determine who I should share my blessings with in this next chapter and who should be booted out of my journey. I only want love, healthy, but great people around me. And if I’m elevating my life, I want people who make me feel good and support me to be around me. Not people who make me cry and stress me out.
And when these blessings enter my life, it feels amazing knowing that I am living proof that I can always become a better version of myself or have better things. It feels great knowing that the grass can be greener on the other side. From my ambitious career changes, to my own place, I have had so many highs and have gotten what I wanted so many times to a point that I know my “low moments” are happening because I know something beautiful is about to come.
One example is how lonely I felt last year with friendships. Knowing I have an abundance of great people whom I just spent Thanksgiving makes me realize that moving on doesn’t always have to be depressing. You can gain more in life right after. I’ve never felt as more understood, more challenged (in a good way), inspired, entertained, valued, and appreciated as I do now.
In addition to the new blessings entering life, moving on really makes you realize your worth and character. It’s a way for you to reclaim who the fuck you are! A lot of times, we let people are situations define us. Moving on allows me to step back, observe who others are, while reflecting on what I can do better. And the moment you are right within, is the moment you can bounce back from things 10 times easier.
This year was the year I practiced my spirituality, experimented more with my sexuality and my body, changed my career, and thrived in friendships. And although some aspects were more blurry than others (looking at career and sex), having a sense of my self has allowed me to make healthier and smarter decisions.
What About Those People???????
IDK, for all I know they can burn in hell. JKJK (I mean not for some lol 🤣). BUTTTT, from the gossip I hear with other situations and my own situations, karma really does strike. I mean look at the HBO Max layoffs right now.
Additionally, I’ve found that many people aren’t as happy as they may appear to be online OR as they think. Of course, there are many reasonings for this, but trust and believe you can feel the facade people put online or you can just feel their low vibrational energy. And based on the information you knew before you left, you can anticipate the existing problems that will continue after you leave. They will reap what they sow (on my life they will). AND I LOVE IT!
On a serious note, moving on always feels scary. But, taking that leap of faith and knowing your life can improve mountains, is beautiful. Just a year ago I was crying early last year, going through downfalls with friends, really missing life. Now I’m living life, moving from the bad, onto better, in my own place, new field, and writing happily again (and inconsistently lol).
Are we always going to be triggered, absolutely yes and it’s okay. But knowing who you are and what you have, makes the recovery so much easier. Moving onto the better version of you and having the best things in life is the ultimate clapback because it’s the most surreal.