With only a few months left in 2022, I’m going to manifest the best of it AND a beautiful start into 2023.
That being said, I have officially reached my 1 year mark of living here in LA (EDIT: It has been a month over my year). And boy, have I had good and bad times out here. Because I see my blog as a magic maker, there are things I still want and I have no issue letting it out.
Nevertheless, LA has really made me into an adult. Living on my own, covering my finances, dealing with heartbreak, jobs, taxes, yeah good stuff! So not only will I be manifesting and writing my affirmations here, but also reflecting on what LA has taught me.
Affirmation: I Have An Amazing Job That Fulfills Me
I am happy to announce I am in a new career in the world of HR! I’m super excited to start my position soon and go into something super new. Nevertheless, the firm I work in has a huge mission to focus on diversity and inclusion. And as you can see, the job screams everything I’ve been wanting. The added bonus to this amazing opportunity is that the job is completely remote 💕
And I will continue to manifest manifest: that I have an amazing job in HR where I learn everyday, I am happy and fulfilled, I get paid well, I am on track for promotion, and I’m glad things didn’t work well in entertainment. I’m growing, at peace, don’t feel burnt out, and getting along with my managers and colleagues.
Cause: Hollywood is Toxic
It’s been months since I left another toxic job that had me working long hours (unpaid), and didn’t welcome employee feedback despite the whole floor knowing their toxic behaviors/unhappy workers. It was a repeat of my last entertainment job saga last year. Walking away hurt because the money I was making was great. However, after chatting with old coworkers and hearing the horror stories that still takes place, I think the universe did wonders taking me out of that situation.
My friend suggested I wasn’t done with television and to be honest, I fed into that and tried out television a 2nd time despite being so shaken up by HBO Crap. Although I don’t regret doing this because it initiated my interest/will to leave television, it was my decision to go back into a world where toxicity of work conditions are notable. And of course, people are shitty, you don’t know a place is unhealthy until you’re there, but ultimately I have the choice to walk away and turn down a job.
Believe me you, the EA job ads I dodged on my job hunt had me feel like I was burning calories. It makes me sick knowing I was that girl made to be a robot, doing all these tasks and not being able to breathe. My friend is working for Marvel, feeling soulless and physically exhausted. Regardless, I own ownership for going back, my mistakes at these jobs, and what I put myself through at these positions. I vow never to take upon something I know may not align with who I am.
Affirmation: I Surround Myself With Genuine/Loyal People
I think I can officially say that my friend group here has saved me from going through so many panic attacks and mental breakdowns. Nevertheless, when things go left, they always remind me of who the fuck I am. One of my most iconic nights here was when I was going through it with my ex, and my friends and I has a slumber party in my apartment, went on a full binging weekend. I got covid after, but it was fully worth it 🤣. Shout out to Kendrick Lamar for taking away my concert virginity!
Cause: There’s Too Many Fake People Here In LA
LA is like what they say in the movies, there’s fake ass people out here. For the most part like any other major city, people want to make it. As a result, you have people who will back stab you, lack loyalty, and are hungry for what you currently. Nevertheless, everyone in LA wants to make it. You have too many wannabes and dreamers who aren’t going to make it anywhere and have to attempt to use people to climb the top (don’t worry they aren’t going anywhere).
As for these people, they often move into the big city, genuinely not having much. They don’t know anyone, and they are trying to find their niche out here. Loneliness is real thing out here and because of that, people will want to be with you because they just need company. And when you think about it, it sounds normal, I’m lonely=I need friends. But in actuality, I’ve come across people who are the source of their own loneliness. Yes, this is a shout out to my ex which leads me to my next affirmation.
Affirmation: I Am In An Amazing Healthy Relationship
I manifest a relationship where I can trust my partner. I am happily in love and I can declare my love without him getting scared, iffy, and all in his mind. He’s as ambitious as I am and he has to have a passion for social issues. This is a must that I have been overlooking with past men. He will be able to have deep conversations, be open minded, intimate dates/contacts, has money, and be able to communicate with me. He doesn’t get scared easily and doesn’t just exit the relationship if something minute happens. He has a healthy way of thinking and no mental health issues.
He loves my goofiness and quirkiness. We are a vibe together and I don’t have to entertain him every second. He has a life outside of me, but he invests in me and is HAPPY to be with me. No negative energy between us, just peace, happiness, laughter, and bomb sex. He follows through his promises with actions and he is mine (no other girls involved). He’s emotionally secure and isn’t lost in life. He’s a real man who has his shit together and ready to love!
Cause: I Attract Broken Loser Men
This cause is going to have some accountability to it. I either settle or begin to tolerate bad behavior from men who really aren’t all that. Like they are shit shit/ Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to be loyal to others even when they aren’t loyal to me. Yet, they are the ones with more red flags/or just fucked up to begin with. And in all situations, I’ve been burned by men who aren’t shit and have more problems than me. Yet I was always the one trying to resolve things and pour my support for them.
These men have had porn addictions, suicidal ideations, suicide attempts, on medication for being depressed/anxious, isolated themselves from friendships, have no friends, and are negative. Now of course, you learn these things overtime. It’s not like these men will be super upfront about their insecurities or worse, their demons.
There are a few reasons I believe I attract these men. For one, I think my childhood plays a role in it. My father abandoned us, and I never had a healthy relationship to serve as a guide of what I should attract, let a lone a healthy consistent male figure other than my brother. The women have carried the weight alone in my family. Additionally, because the women in my family have carried everything, I’ve been conditioned to give and provide so much of myself to make things work. And I’ve noticed, I’m always the one making sacrifices in for these loser men, and they don’t provide much.
And as you can tell from this section, there’s a lot I can say about this point. In fact, it should get a blog of its own. BUT THIS POINT HERE is that with almost all the men (3), they have projected their shit onto me that goes on in their own head. They have a perception of me that comes from their own insecurities. The obvious way to know this is when you feel it. The moment I started telling my ex about my friends in LA, was the moment I felt his energy go down even more.
He had already came into my apartment with this rainy cloud above his head, but seeing it prevail the more I talked about the good in my life was telling. When you’re on a different vibration and level (mainly higher), you often make others envy you even if it’s not purposeful. And because of this, I will no longer dim my own light or lower my standards especially for a man who doesn’t know how to be happy on his own. Wow that was a lot.
BONUS: Grateful For Family, Money, and Apartment, and Myself OFC
I also need to grateful for the good in my life. I’ve manifested so much, and I’d like to give a shout out to the success/blessings.
My family has been super supportive as usual. I miss them dearly, but I know they are always there. My apartment has also been this temple for me. Not only is it amazing for me and cutely designed in my opinion, but IT’S ALL MINE. MY OWN APARTMENT where be free. I do manifest getting an amazing one bedroom next year and leaving my comfy.
Lastly, the money I have had saved up these last few years have really payed off. I never dipped into my emergency savings yet (amazing), but I’m glad I am able to budget and have an abundance of money to fall back on. Job hunting is never easy, and I felt blessed not to hold onto a toxic job for income.
As far all the haters and losers out here, do I wish them all the worst? Some more than others such as my old co-workers (which karma I heard is doing the trick). All my complicated situations have shown light as to who I should surround myself with. I can feel when my energy differs from others and when they are off, fake, or drenched in negativity. For that, I know the universe will give them that negativity back because I have been hurt out here. But as I’m entering a new chapter, all I can do is focus on me, trust the world to do its work, and show everyone how I bounce back in fashion.