I am officially a graduate of college. I celebrated last week with a few friends feeling free of the pandemic blues. It helps that my internship extension has given me extra economic security while I apply to full time positions. With this money, I plan on investing in some driving lessons and a potential new apartment. Now I don’t know where my future will lead me, but I have dreams that I’m working towards to make it into a reality.
Of course, I couldn’t do that without going through some changes in college that I will list below.
Friendships’ & Relationships’ Fall Outs
Over the pandemic, I’ve been very vocal regarding my loneliness. I felt very detached from others, went crazy in the midst of family drama, and felt the FOMO kicking in. My life was just passing by and my “best years” officially turned into my worst years because of the pandemic. I was no longer the social butterfly, but now the recluse going insane. As a result I became irritable, and really took time to reevaluate my circle and myself especially when there was no one to celebrate my birthday with me.
And although I am in a much better state, I can say that all this has taught me the harsh but most important reality that: you really can’t depend on others. I would always write about how I wish I can have some convenience and fun in my life, and to be honest I still do. But, it’s gotten to a point where broken relationships and broken people have taught me that we should all be actively working on something within ourselves, including myself.
At the end of the day, I just turned 22 so of course I am going to have my fun. But, I’m also going to have my own back. Setting boundaries to protect myself is going to be my number one goal. There’s been so many tears, anger, heartbreak and paranoia over many interactions in my 4 years of college. This has led me to let go and let me be my own best friend with no regrets. In a way, all that pain has taught me to become more resilient and wiser.
One thing life has taught me is that you will definitely outgrow people, fizzle out with others, maintain connections, gain new friends, lose old friends, etc. It happens, but you can still find some peace deep down knowing you’re going to be okay.
The Physical Glow Up
I straight up love the way I look. Every time I am out in public, I obsess over taking selfies. A part of the reasoning has to do with the break up that started it all. Once I really started appreciating what I bring to the table including my looks, I guess you can say I became more vain.
On top of that, my graduation serves as a 3 year mark from when I big chopped as a freshman in college. Looking at all the growth my natural hair has and looking at its health makes me super proud. As an Afro Latina, I owe it to myself to destroy all the insecurities I had growing up with my skin and hair. And looking at me now, I definitely surpassed that.
My Inner Ambition
Never did I imagine myself considering moving to California, let alone study there. It’s true that sometimes people just change, and I think that was the case for me. It’s true that certain factors helped me, but my passion overpowers my fear and I make my own decisions. Nevertheless, I want to do big things for people of color in Hollywood and I know that I definitely will.
And even though I spoke about this prior, I never thought I would have a decent blog. I don’t get millions of views or anything, but I get thousands of views which always leaves me in shock. I’m glad my younger self created a blog and stuck with it all these years.
Bye College 🙁
College has been… a journey. I had my ups and downs but I’m super glad that it transformed me to the person I am today.
