Depression sucks. It really does especially in college. Out of all semesters here at NYU, my spring semester has left me feeling the most shitty. With loads of assignments, loads of rejections and not hearing back from these awful companies, and issues with the people around me, it’s hard to have this upbeat face. Soon, I will be moving out of my dorm and back home for the summer. This is one of the few times I actually don’t look forward to summer.
Oh the Internships!
First and foremost, getting an internship, one that’s not exploitative, is so hard. After a semi-disaster last year experience, I refuse to take one that simply pushes me around. It’s frustrating when you do your job search early, and months later nothing comes up. What’s even worse, is the ridiculous demands they want you to meet. I didn’t know I was supposed to have 6 years of experience at 20.
Loneliness Galore
Besides this being my fourth semester here boo-less, this semester had me questioning the people I hang around with. In the midst of conversations, I find myself either lost or unheard. When I take the more pro-active approach of going out to meetings, clubs, events, the scene was a total bust. People barely go and the conversation falls short. At NYU, you have a lot of people with the personality of brick or one that mimics Angelica from Rugrats. It’s very easy to feel like no one understands you which is probably the main thing I hate about this non-campus college.
Back Home For The Summer
I technically have the option to continue my office job over the summer. But, NYU is the last place I want to be at during the summer. It’s a hub for depression. I might change my mind considering, I hate the idea of staying home all day. The atmosphere is boring, gloomy, and just not what I want. Regardless, I have a few weeks to decide and hopefully, my mood brightens as that time comes. It’s odd that a few weeks ago I was preaching self-love just to be so angry right now. I hate being this irritable.