You Should Leave Your Hometown!

You Should Leave Your Hometown!

I’ve made different drafts of this topic because something different always happens that changes my perspective. But for the most part, I am in total belief of this statement above. And after a long conversation with my younger cousin who feels suffocated at home, I needed to write this.

The main reason I left NY was because I felt like I had no real purpose there anymore. I had a fallout with a few friends and with the friends I still had left, a part of me still didn’t feel happy. I went to college in NYC and by the time college was over, I was kinda bored. And on top of that, my entertainment major didn’t really do me wonders in NY as it would in California. So all in all, the main reason I left was just because I outgrew the city.

My First Few Months In LA

My first few months were pretty decent. I fell in love with my apartment and I’m still in love with it til this day. But besides a few of my best friends here and a cool rocking place, work stress outshined the good. In fact, I blogged about the hell I spent in HBO Max and how it was the first time I experience the “fakeness” in LA.

And although my friends were amazing help, it was one of those times I needed family..and counseling. I was uninsured here for a while and it wasn’t easy going through mental breakdowns alone. Luckily I was able to go back home in about a week considering this all happened during Christmas break. However, it’s not easy moving to a new state, not having all your documentation, and being alone. It’s brave and scary.

My Life Now

Despite the devil HBO Max put me through, I don’t regret coming to LA at all. I’m much more social here than I was in NY and I would have never had the great apartment I had now if it ironically wasn’t for that HBO Max opportunity that called me out here. Friends visit, I can drink what I want, get high whenever I want, talk on the phone, not care at all because no one is watching over me. I feel happier here, like I have a purpose and as if I have more of a life here, then I did in NYC.

The Cons

One con about leaving your home state is starting over. With your friends, doctor, and family being away, you are pretty much left to fend for yourself. I just had a friend who was scammed as he was apartment hunting and it breaks my heart knowing we are all a bunch of newbies out here really on our own. And on top of that, having to drive/uber everywhere because we are so dar from everything is exhausting. There’s a reason why NYC will always be iconic and no place I move to can ever replicate it’s beauty. In fact, it made me who I am.

Plus, after having a family friend death about a week ago, I often feel guilty for being out here and missing things at home. My success here adds more onto my guilt as well since I feel bad that my family cannot live or see the privileges I have here.

Coming from an immigrant lower income family, they wouldn’t be able to afford the lifestyle I have here. Now that I’m making more money enough for me to uber and uber eats every single week, there’s a guilt that I’m successful and I’m the “only one who made it out of the projects”. On top of this, I’m still suffering from work stress. As happy as I am now with my increased wage, a girl is still stressing at work and being so stressed causes me to feel depressed about the shiftiness of capitalism and the corporate world.

The Pros

The beauty you can experience from being in a different space is mind blowing. This is my second time in California and the first time, I was going through a break up. Nature helped me cope and the selfies all hit different. But on a more serious note, being exposed to mountains, beaches, and beautiful bright skies helped my mental health a lot. Exploring these sights as opposed to the same deli stories I would see on my block or the same drug dealers across the street, made me have a new appreciation of life. Sometimes you need to change the dull physical surroundings around you.

Next is that independence! As mentioned earlier, this is probably the best portion of moving to a different state. The opportunities can be endless and when things go right, you feel it. You have a glow to you, you feel more happy, and you start to realize the sacrifices you made have been worth it. Coming out here was a risk, but sometimes in life you have to take risk..or be average forever. And I wouldn’t have seen all of California and experience the happiness it brings me if I didn’t come out here. Your self growth is more likely to be stifled when you are surrounding by the same place you’ve been in since you were a child.

Lastly, you feel more open minded the more you leave your home state. When I left the Bronx to dorm in Manhattan (not that big of a trip), I had my upsides and my downsides. But for the most part, I recommend dorming. It teaches you how to be an adult and handle life basics. On top of that you are forming your own identity separate from your own parents and family. But, moving away regardless brings you new experiences.

And you are exposed to different people from different places that you can befriend and they can teach you more about life. And, I’ve found that sometimes (not all) people who tend to stay in their home town all the time either never take risks in their life, or never really evolve as they haven’t been exposed to new life experiences. And boy, can they be very close minded and ignorant.

So To My Younger Cousin

I offered my cousin a free trip here if he ever needed some space from his hometown. I’m more than glad he’s open to the opportunity. I’m even more happy that he has the opportunity to do so.

And this is a total risk that may go wrong. This doesn’t guarantee happiness at all. But it’s one of those aspects where it’s better to go for something as opposed to wondering if you hadn’t taken such a leap of faith. It worked out for my mom when she came to the U.S and so far, it seems to be working out for me as well.

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