I was recently watching this video as to why the Victor Twins don’t date black men, and I heard “preference”. I usually cringe when I hear this word and I will tell you why.
Preference Definition
Preference means having a greater liking or desire for one thing over others. This can me preferring girls with long hair, short hair, no pimples, not too tall and if we are really going to be honest, girls of a certain race. That’s what this blog is really about.
When Preference Is Fine
At first, I never really thought much to preference. People like what they like. And, there are times when the reasoning behind preference literally makes sense. “I grew up around this race of people, therefore, I’m just used to dating my own” or “we have the same culture” etc.
Some areas are inclusive of one group of people. I grew up in an African-American and Latino neighborhood. I get it and can relate.
When Preference Becomes Problematic & Confusing (TO ME)
I can’t knock anyone down for not dating a certain race of people. I really can’t! But, I find it an issue when I hear the reasoning as to why someone prefers to isolate a whole race of people when it comes to dating.
Many times the “I’m not attracted to this group of people” is usually code word for “You’re out of my league”.
Another part of me feels like people are literally are just attracted to what they are attracted to even if it is to just one race. It’s what you like and what features you want. We all have some type of checklist of what physical attributes our future soulmates should have. We are human.
After all, beauty is subjective so why is this a big deal? Regardless of race, I personally just want to fall in love someday. Is that too much to ask?
But Why Do We Have Racial Preferences?
And this is where my opinion steps in. Society sees black girls as the “least desirable” group to date in comparison to other groups. We are seen as ugly and we are attached to stereotypes. Hell, if you google beautiful women, you will mainly see white women.
I genuinely feel like that is society’s fault. There’s not much positive representation of black girls in the media. Growing up and even seeing this still today, you barely see black women on magazine covers, movies, having their own barbie dolls, strutting the red carpet or a runway, covering news’ stories, television shows, being protagonists, etc.
You usually see white women serving these roles. And although they are the majority and black women are the minority, it demonstrates the impacts of underrepresentation.
We are stuck idolizing this image of one group of people being the best and the most beautiful while swiping left on the racial group of women (or men) we aren’t exposed to. AKA, the ones that never made the cut to the media.
Again this goes to any non-white race and gender, but I am speaking as a black woman simply because I am. It’s important that other races get representation too.
These Comments Can Better Explain My Thoughts
I always look forward to the discussion when it comes to preference. In my opinion, preference usually stems from colorism, which society has created to rate beauty, and racism. The comments hit the nail on the wall.
In terms of the Victor Twin’s video, it was kind of all over the place literally. I understood the gist of their reasoning, but I’m not surprised by the backlash. I guess that’s how the world works though. It’s clear that I am torn on this topic leaning in the middle. But, at the end of the day, people will love who they love and it is how it is.